Perspectives on a Divorce Attorney’s Marriage

Great job to The Huffington Post and author Brittany Wong on reporting what it’s like to be married to a divorce attorney. Here’s a glimpse into my thoughts on marriage:

“I’ve been married for 34 years and for 30 of them, I’ve been a divorce lawyer. You might think I’d be deeply cynical about the institution of marriage. But you would be totally wrong. I, along with many of my colleagues in the family law bar, are deep appreciators of marriage. I think that is because we, more than most people, truly understand the value of family. We know it’s what gives meaning to people’s lives because we experience firsthand the depth of the pain when it doesn’t work out. And I know that has made me a better spouse and parent. I’m tolerant of small problems and differences because I am so acutely aware of the big picture, of how unimportant those differences may be when compared to the potential cataclysm of divorce. I have to admit, though, that I’ve heard this from my husband more than once during an argument: ‘Stop cross examining me!’ But really, if that’s all he has to complain about, he has no idea how good he has it.”

And from my husband’s point of view:

“I may have just a few more complaints but I share my attorney wife’s perspective on marriage. I also love hearing about how badly couples behave (no names, of course!) in court, marvel at how generous her clients can occasionally be with their estranged spouses in the name of their children, and often think how lucky I am to be in a solid marriage. I also know that I would be screwed if I tried to divorce her because she is the only person I would want to represent me in court.”

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